Five things that suck about wine
Five things that suck about wine
1. Wine is delicious
Which is just so annoying if you are trying not to drink it. There’s a wine for everyone. For everyone’s taste. A match for every meal; even wine for cheese and desserts. Making it even harder to avoid.
Basically, wine goes with everything. You can have a pear-like Prosecco at a summer garden party; a glass of Sauvignon on a Saturday night; a rich, fruity, Malbec on a chilly Sunday, with your roast dinner in front of an open fire; or an Amarone for a special occasion. And when you just don’t know whether to go with a Red or a White, well there is always Rose! It’s just evil genius.
2. Wine Calories
Why, oh why do there have to be so many calories in wine? It is the most depressing thing for someone who loves wine, who also needs to diet. (Ahem… me)
Calories in wine can be anything from 100 to 300 calories per glass depending on the wine, and the size of your glass. So let’s say an average of about 200 calories for your usual glass of deliciousness. I mean who even drinks a small glass of wine anyway? What would be the point?
What I found interesting when checking these facts, was that there is actually postassium, calcium and iron in wine! (Only a very small percentage, but it is still there, according to caloriecount.com.) So I can forget banana, milk and spinach. Wine is beautifully providing for me in those areas!
It also has no saturated fat or cholesterol in it, and is very low in salt. Unfortunately the alcohol and sugar in wine aren’t that good for you, so it rules out using those little fact gems to justify it.
As a health expert would say, (I look to my brother who is a sportsman), they are “wasted calories”. Essentially all the sugar in wine is going to go straight to your hips and tummy. Unless you are one of the really lucky people of this world.
DAMN YOU WINE, you suck.
3. Pricing
The way wine is priced, sucks. Now, here’s where it can get a bit technical so I will keep this simple, and refer you to experts for the detail.
If you buy a bottle of wine for a fiver, you are getting a pretty low quality wine. The actual wine cost in that bottle is just 50p! Then add all the costs on top of that: bottling, distribution, retail margin, Duty and VAT (with Duty and VAT taking up 58% of the price) -you have a £5 bottle of wine.
If you buy an £8 bottle of wine, the actual wine cost is £2 and results in a much better wine. You can always find offers on £8 bottles to bring the price down, and it will be a much better drop than your 50p wine!
Here is a brilliant infographic from Gavin Quinny of the Baudoc Blog which shows it perfectly.
As you can imagine, if you carry on up the pricing scale, spending more per bottle, then more money is spent on the actual wine.
It still feels very unfair though. Especially for those of us in the UK.
Gavin is campaigning for UK duty on wine to be reduced as the UK currently pay 67% of all the wine duty in Europe. He has written a brilliant blog post on it here.
If you really love wine to the extreme, you could move to France where you can buy it for a fraction of the price, and even direct from the supplier.
You could indeed be paying a couple of quid for a lovely wine. But you’d have to move to France. That would suck. (Sorry France, I love you really).
4. Hangovers
I was once reliably informed by my wine loving Uncle (Hello Uncle Chris) that you only ever get a hangover from bad quality wine. There may be some people who beg to differ.
It is an excellent excuse to only drink excellent wine, but it would break the bank. You can understand, given the pricing breakdown above, that the 50p wine might be a bit of a gut rotter.
I think if you drink too much of any alcoholic beverage for too long, and don’t eat enough, a hangover is inevitable. They key is to eat! Which then means a double-calorie-whammy. Wine and food calories. That sucks.
Gone are the days of saving up all your weight-watchers points by not eating anything all day, so you could go out drinking that night. You can only really get away with that in your twenties, when your resistance to hangovers is greater. Start knocking on the door of 40, and hangovers are significantly worse. Especially if you have kids. I discovered that this year, what with being a new ‘older’ mum!
5. There’s nothing that can replace wine.
Non-alcoholic wine has never come close to tasting the same as its grown-up compadre. They just do not do the trick. It is a massive shame and a massive gap in the market. One day I dream of coming up with that solution. I also plan to invent my ©Sauvignon Squash ™, you heard it here first. The idea is MINE, people.
When I’m trying not to drink wine (which is usually because of a dress I need to fit in to), but I would still like a drink, I tend to go for a Gin and Slimline tonic, because I’ve kidded myself it’s almost calorie free. (Almost)
Refreshing and delicious as a G&T can be, nothing, just nothing, can replace wine.
And that, my friends, truly sucks.
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Before I opened this I had no idea what you could POSSIBLY say but I agree with all of these 🙂
Thanks Charlene, so glad you agree! It really sucks!
I am so with you… We’re cutting right back on our wine drinking at the moment and trying to convince ourselves that a becks blue is a decent replacement. But it’s just not the same!!
Absolutely NOT the same Sophie! Nothing can replace wine!
Oh gawd! You’re right! Wine sucks!!
And so do straws…and that’s what I’ll be sucking my sucky wine up with! Does the job in half the time. Half the calories. Half the cost and half the hangovers .
I wish I’d invented the straw!!!x
Ha Ha Katy! The quicker you drink the less calories you consume! WHAT? really 😉 Worth a try. (he he)
As I was reading, I was thinking she forgotten about GIN….then came your last point! My response: gin is stronger! Ha! #effitfriday
HA! You see I hadn’t forgotten about the saviour that is Gin. But it still isn’t the same. It is stronger though, as you say. Small mercies!
Fascinating infographic. I do like my wine but I’m going htrough a beer / ale stage. It happens every summer. Even so, I prefer not to think of the wine calories. #effitfriday
John I think we all prefer not to think of the wine calories and most of the time I try and block it out. That is until I really NEED to diet and I know that all the salad in the world wont help if I keep drinking wine! boo…
No 1. and 4. yes yes and YES! But at the end of the day we love it so pretend that it doesn’t really suck at all..#effitfriday
That’s exactly right Talya, we must keep pretending. There are no calories in wine, there are no calories in wine… and repeat.
I was so curious to read this because I LOVE wine, but I agree with everything you have said. The pricing thing was really interesting, definitely something to consider. I’m not sure about the hangover point, maybe I just buy too much cheap wine haha. Either way it’s bloody not good if you don’t want to drink, because wine is just wine, it’s what I look forward to during the day. How sad am I? #Brilliantblogposts
Me too. I really look forward to it at the end of a hard day. Which is most days when you have a baby! The pricing thing is really interesting and goes some way to explaining the different flavours and quality of wine at different prices. I find it really interesting but didn’t want to bore everyone with all the detail!
There are no calories in wine. NONE! X
Kiran, I wish this to be true every day!
I could not agree more with everything thing you said. The trying not to drink is by far the hardest since I am trying to diet and failing miserably with giving up my wine. Then the cost, I tend to be a wine snob and will not drink the cheap stuff. There is a taste difference. Here’s a toast to us both on trying not to drink it!
Yeah same here Nicole. I feel your pain. But what shall we toast with? Prosecco? He he he…
I just skip dinner and have wine for dinner…It’s as close to a fruit salad as I can get. **wink wink** In all seriousness though I used to be a HUGE beer drinker….loved loved loved my beer but was packing on the pounds with drinking it so decided to switch over to wine and not only did I lose weight but I have kept it off while still consuming large amounts of wine and I feel a lot less bloated. I drink reds though. And I like them not too dry and not too sweet with maybe a hint of peppery. My newest found love is 19 Crimes. Oh how I purchased 10 bottles of it a week ago and i am now down to 4. My husband loves it too. ahem. I am coming to you live from #effitfridays.
Hey Trista, that’s so much for coming by and commenting. I love that wine is your fruit salad! And if you lost weight drinking it, well it’s a no brainier! Good for you. (Not jealous in any way…) oh to drink wine and lose weight….. What a dream.
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Oh I’m with you on this one. Every year, I consume way too much alcohol in the summer holidays and vow that I will stop once the kids go back to school (not alcoholic quantities but a glass every night) – that spare tyre needs to go! I know it’s the wine’s fault but it just tastes soooo good!
It’s so difficult to lose the spare tyre when there is so much delicious wine in the world to enjoy. So hard… I’m with you there x
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